observation of the day

2003-11-17T15:01:00.000-05:00

So - I've moved my site. Yes, very exciting news. Check it out and change your bookmarks:

ootd.illcode.org

Thanks to illcode for hosting me and glenn for setting up the page. Hopefully the old entries will find their way onto the new site soon. Let me know what you think of it...

2003-11-14T14:27:00.000-05:00

If chocolate is poison to dogs - why are there chocolate flavored bones? It's like having arsenic flavored candy.

2003-11-13T17:18:00.000-05:00

Exactly how many types of malaises are there if you have to qualify one as a "general" malaise?

2003-11-12T15:59:00.000-05:00

I didn't see it, but John Kerry rode onto Jay Leno's show on a Harley. The mere thought is disturbing. I mean, with Kerry's haircut, isn't a motorcycle helmet just redundant?

2003-11-11T14:22:00.000-05:00

I don't know what I find more ridiculous - the fact that there is LIVE chess on ESPN2 right now, or the fact that I'm watching it...

2003-11-10T14:51:00.000-05:00

Tony Danza is getting a daytime talk show. Let that soak in for a minute... Let's hope he never had Sylvester Stallone on, or it will be 10 straight minutes of incomprehensible grunts.

2003-11-07T14:27:00.000-05:00

You know - I really don't think there are that many people questioning the allegiances of the Lord. In other words: Take off your "God is Good" bumper sticker, please.

2003-11-06T16:21:00.000-05:00

I think I'd like to work for the US Mint. It seems like all they do is think about how to make money look different - not that anyone cares...

2003-11-05T15:23:00.000-05:00

I don't know why this yahoo! headline tickles me so much, but it does: "Traffic-signal change device threatens chaos."

2003-11-04T15:08:00.000-05:00

People should have the common courtesy to not bring food to lectures... especially when it smells really good.

2003-11-03T15:05:00.000-05:00

Do British people walk on the left side of the sidewalk?

2003-10-31T15:51:00.000-05:00

You know what's not cool? Hiding in the elevators on Halloween, dressed completely in black - including boots, gloves, hooded sweatshirt, and faceless mask.

2003-10-30T16:43:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I question whether or not Rick Springfield really did wish that he had Jesse's girl.

2003-10-29T15:09:00.000-05:00

Why do you only see commercials for cable tv services on cable stations? That hardly seems like the best way to get new subscribers.

2003-10-28T14:20:00.000-05:00

Is it wrong that I took pleasure in catching the guy in the car behind me picking his nose in my rear-view mirror?

2003-10-27T17:49:00.000-05:00

If my internet connection doesn't start behaving, I think I'm going to bash in my monitor with the bloody carcass of my cable modem...

2003-10-24T14:24:00.000-04:00

Apparently God isn't taking a liking to Mel Gibson's new movie about Jesus, or perhaps just his casting choices... The actor who's playing Jesus was struck by lightening during filming.

2003-10-23T15:12:00.000-04:00

I love new windshield wipers!

2003-10-22T14:44:00.000-04:00

If you were battered by... *ahem*... Liza Minelli, would you really want the publicity of a 10 million dollar lawsuit?

2003-10-21T17:23:00.000-04:00

How the hell do Labybugs get into my room? Good luck or not, those ten little buggers on my ceiling are gettin' smooshed...

2003-10-20T17:46:00.000-04:00

It seems like only the craziest of people defend themselves in court...

2003-10-17T13:42:00.000-04:00

If I ever own a barber shop, I think I would run it like a triage instead of first-come-first-served.

2003-10-16T15:23:00.000-04:00

What's up with the term "attorney at law?" It makes no sense... There are no "doctors at medicine" or "pilots at flight."

2003-10-15T16:36:00.000-04:00

Is there anymore disgusting subsect of the human race than the Yankee's fan?

2003-10-14T17:07:00.000-04:00

Getting delayed by car accidents is unacceptable when I'm trying to get home to watch playoff baseball...

2003-10-13T18:08:00.000-04:00

Why do we care so much about sports? It really makes no logical sense...

2003-10-10T17:03:00.000-04:00

Can you get any lower than protesting the Nobel prize because you didn't win?

2003-10-09T15:26:00.000-04:00

I wish Jesse Ventura were still governor of Minnesota so there could be a Predator reunion at the national governor's meeting.

2003-10-08T16:24:00.000-04:00

Who doesn't love a good gong?

2003-10-07T16:41:00.000-04:00

Have you ever looked at someone and thought: "I bet their mother is ugly."

2003-10-06T16:42:00.000-04:00

There's nothing like an 80 degree lecture hall to put everyone to sleep...

2003-10-03T16:30:00.000-04:00

Thank god for tvguide.com. Where else can you find such socially important articles like: "Is Jessica Simpson Really Dumb?"

2003-10-02T17:04:00.000-04:00

It didn't take Rush Limbaugh long to wear out his welcome...

2003-10-01T17:08:00.000-04:00

October confuses me - shouldn't it be the eighth month?

2003-09-30T16:47:00.000-04:00

I think the news media horribly underuses the word "malfeasance."

2003-09-29T17:08:00.000-04:00

The oldest man in the world died today at 117. That's sad. Not because he died, but because he lived that long.

2003-09-26T16:39:00.000-04:00

I fear for my sanity. I kicked ass in bowling class today... and I liked it.

2003-09-25T15:37:00.000-04:00

I don't know why, but John Mayer fills me with rage.

2003-09-24T16:59:00.000-04:00

There's not much worse than having a mouth-breather sit behind you during a lecture.

2003-09-23T16:36:00.000-04:00

Is there anything more self serving than those hollywood awards shows?

2003-09-22T16:38:00.000-04:00

A good sign that you're dorky enough to go to engineering school: You recognize, and get excited by the fact that all the computers in one of the labs are named after x-men.

2003-09-19T17:40:00.000-04:00

I miss the random french lyrics that artists were obsessed with putting in their songs in the 80s.

2003-09-18T16:06:00.000-04:00

What, exactly, is the point of a career fair if no one there wants to hire people?

2003-09-17T16:57:00.000-04:00

Yahoo headline today: "Study says monkeys may resent unfairness." Doesn't everyone?

2003-09-16T17:08:00.000-04:00

I appreciate words that illustrate their meaning, like mellifluous.

2003-09-15T16:45:00.000-04:00

14,000 dollars seems a little absurd for plane tickets to Japan, first class or not.

2003-09-12T16:56:00.000-04:00

I will never be convinced that flip-flops are appropriate everyday wear.

2003-09-11T16:48:00.000-04:00

God bless that giant billboard featuring Diane Lane. Makes my ride home so much sweeter.

2003-09-10T15:53:00.000-04:00

Here's an amusing visual: I was driving on the highway and there was a fully inflated rubber shark pool-toy strapped to the top of a minivan. Gusts of air kept getting underneath it, and it looked like the shark was thrashing against its bonds.

2003-09-09T16:28:00.000-04:00

I just noticed that graduate school is an oxymoron. That must be an omen of some sort.

2003-09-08T16:52:00.000-04:00

I've timed my attention span at approximately 20 minutes. Every day in lecture, when I get the urge to check my watch, only 20 minutes have passed. Thank god they're only 50 minutes long.

2003-09-05T16:55:00.000-04:00

I've discovered that I always, always get stuck being partnered with the smelly kid.

2003-09-04T16:29:00.000-04:00

Am I supposed to give half a crap that the president of my university is leaving?

2003-09-03T15:54:00.000-04:00

I'm starting to feel guilty because this site is getting hits from people searching for "clever anecdotes" and I'm really not that clever...

2003-09-02T16:34:00.000-04:00

How much of a dork am I that I got all emotional when my computer chair broke... That's a rhetorical question by the way.

2003-08-29T16:25:00.000-04:00

I don't think we have enough pop songs in German about nuclear weapons these days...

2003-08-28T16:39:00.000-04:00

It's pretty pathetic when a professor encourages his students to attend his office hours because he "gets lonely."

2003-08-27T13:39:00.000-04:00

Poker tournaments shouldn't make compelling television, and yet somehow they do.

2003-08-26T14:26:00.000-04:00

I love it when you get random e-mails from Amazon.com telling you that one of your orders has gone down in price. It's like free money!

2003-08-25T15:39:00.000-04:00

Oh, summer! Why have you left me so soon? Must I now endure the harsh reality of fall? D'oh!

2003-08-22T14:42:00.000-04:00

Was Saturday Night Live ever any good? Will it ever be?

2003-08-21T14:43:00.000-04:00

I have the utmost respect for anyone who works retail, especially at a mall. I think if I were forced to have that much contact with "customers" I would either be fired in a week or arrested for battery or attempted murder.

2003-08-20T16:13:00.000-04:00

Is there anything quite as amusing as the unintentional comedy that comes from the complete ineptitude of local news broadcasts?

2003-08-19T15:02:00.000-04:00

How do some movies get made? Do we really need a sequel to Resident Evil?

2003-08-18T17:23:00.000-04:00

Pop-up blockers have got to be the greatest invention since the advent of the internet.

2003-08-15T15:39:00.000-04:00

I don't think we needed so much coverage of the blackout. Case-in-point: I heard a journalist say that planes were unaffected by the blackout, because they run on their own power.

2003-08-14T15:15:00.000-04:00

I enjoy listening to people with accents. Especially when its a Russian accent, and the person is saying "sugarbush."

2003-08-13T17:01:00.000-04:00

I think it would be really cool to grow up on a road named Sesame Street. There must be some out there...

2003-08-12T15:41:00.000-04:00

I don't think it speaks well for the people of California that someone with no political background is leading the polls because he is simply a likable celebrity. The whole debacle is really, really funny for the rest of the country though.

2003-08-11T17:17:00.000-04:00

I think they should consider changing the term "popular music" on Amazon. After all, Journey can be found there...

2003-08-08T15:35:00.000-04:00

I don't think that there's too much funnier than suburban white kids who try to talk all "gangsta"-like.

2003-08-07T14:15:00.000-04:00

Here's a bit of advice for everyone - You should really keep your stinky, sweaty feet in your swampy shoes when out in public.

2003-08-06T15:09:00.000-04:00

I think Kobe Bryant should hurry up and settle his case. It's inevitable anyway, whether he's guilty or not... and frankly, I'm just sick of hearing about the whole thing.

2003-08-05T16:32:00.000-04:00

A judge has sealed topless photos of Cameron Diaz. I take back everything bad I ever said about appellate courts.

2003-08-04T16:28:00.000-04:00

Gigli has brought me so much pleasure. I haven't seen the god awful movie, but just reading the reviews has made me laugh out loud.

2003-08-01T14:39:00.000-04:00

If I ever have a son, I think I'll name him Ichabod, just so he always knows who's boss.

2003-07-31T15:54:00.000-04:00

After 21 years of life, there is only one thing that I know about myself. One universal constant that I no will never change. Something so absolute and clear, that it can never be doubted... I'm a soul man.

2003-07-30T16:44:00.000-04:00

What's the deal with the term "sub-par." If you're sub par, aren't you below par? And isn't the point of golf to be below par?

2003-07-29T14:48:00.000-04:00

I find it very creepy when music artists record their own backup vocals.

2003-07-28T15:42:00.000-04:00

I just can't believe that there is a huge demand for horse racing movies. Seabiscuit looks tremendously boring - regardless of the good reviews.

2003-07-25T14:59:00.000-04:00

Do you think Bono has found what he was looking for yet?

2003-07-24T14:58:00.000-04:00

You know it has been a long day when you try to start your car with your house key.

2003-07-23T15:46:00.000-04:00

I have a new theory. I think there is some physiological reaction to not having the use of your hands. Whether they're covered in gloves, stuck performing an important task, or simply dirty, it is inevitable that the rest of your body will begin to itch when you can't use your hands. I'm proposing some research in this area. There must be an answer...

2003-07-22T15:44:00.000-04:00

With the way genetic engineering is progressing these days, I think I'm going to avoid using the phrase "when pigs fly." You just never know.

2003-07-21T15:57:00.000-04:00

I am so easily amused sometimes it is downright sad. I've recently discovered I have a fascination for centrifuges. They spin... fast.

2003-07-18T14:40:00.000-04:00

The complicated diplomatic balance that exits between the US and France can essentially be compared to that of a relationship between two siblings. They bicker and bicker... and bicker some more. Now France has banned the use of the term "e-mail" because its too American for them. They've created their own french word for e-mail (courriel).... Are you kidding me? I'm just speechless. Grow up.

2003-07-17T15:29:00.000-04:00

Is anyone else uncomfortable with the term "diplomatic relations?" It sounds like a euphamism for make-up sex.

2003-07-16T15:11:00.000-04:00

It's a good day when the salad bar at work has hard boiled eggs.

2003-07-15T14:54:00.000-04:00

How come Rush Limbaugh gets to be on NFL countdown next season? If they were looking for fat, pumpkin headed windbags - why didn't they call me? I so want to be on NFL countdown! ... And all apologies to Deion Sanders - he actually won his case in court. I told you it could be possible that Jesus could take an interest in Deion Sander's car maintenance.

2003-07-14T16:07:00.000-04:00

Did you hear the latest about Deion Sanders? He only paid a fraction of a car repair bill because Jesus told him that was enough money to pay. For Deion's sake, I really hope he went to another mechanic, a spanish fellow by the name of Jesus (Hay-Zoos), and got some different pricing. If that isn't the case, I shudder to think about Deion's mental state... Or maybe Jesus really does take an interest in Deion's car maintenance... It could be possible...

2003-07-11T15:38:00.000-04:00

When I get a house I want to have a mezzanine. Not because I want a mezzanine, I just want to be able to say things like: "Shall we adjourn to the mezzanine for a snifter of cognac?" or "Have you seen the view from the mezzanine? It's spectacular." That would be fun...

2003-07-10T14:59:00.000-04:00

I heard three songs in a row by Boston on the radio today and not a single one of them was "More than a Feeling." Who even knew Boston had four songs?

2003-07-09T15:08:00.000-04:00

Can a place of business be both closed up and shut down? It seems like it shouldn't be possible, but they mean the same exact thing... hmm... Makes my brain hurt. Parking Update: So I was positive this morning that I had my crooked parking issue corrected, but alas... perhaps more crooked than ever before.

2003-07-08T16:15:00.000-04:00

For some reason I cannot park straight in the garage at work. Every morning, without fail, my car is crooked. I've determined that whoever painted the lines screwed up and they're not perpendicular to the wall. At least that's what I'm deluding myself into believing...

2003-07-07T15:57:00.000-04:00

When I grow up, I think I want to be Robert Palmer. But now it strikes me - how many people remember Robert Palmer? Or knew who he was in the first place? That make's me sad...